With last week being Resurrection week, I have been thinking a lot about sacrifice. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son… (John 3:16). This was an ultimate sacrifice, which has made me think a lot about parenting and the sacrifices big and small that parents make for their children. The ones that they don’t even think about as it’s just a natural part of being a parent that is so inextricably linked to the love for one’s child/children. I have also been thinking about sacrifices not made that fill us with pain or guilt that doesn’t go away even over many years. And, I’ve been thinking about the post that I have also just finished about parenting… it’s partially a letter to my youngest daughter.

 

On Friday, the end of the week of sacrifice, I see the cover of Time with the Parkland, Fla., students and March for Our Lives organizers Jaclyn Corin, Alex Wind, Emma González, Cameron Kasky, and David Hogg. Again, I thought about sacrifice, but not their sacrifice as I believe that there are times when people emerge as heroes, leaders, the voice or conscience of a nation and it is their destiny. I know this to be true for the extraordinary, passionate, determined and eloquent young people from Parkland. I have actually been thinking about their parents and the sacrifice that they are making to free their children to lead this fight.

 

And sadly, a fight it is. Of nearly a dozen posts, this will be my 3^rd related to gun violence. I have tried to honor those slain, celebrate the heroes that emerge and understand the troubled shooters. But, I too like so many am angered that this issue has become such a polarizing one that we don’t make progress that would seem so certain especially after tragedies like Sandy Hook five years ago.

 

These young people have been thrust in the middle of a storm. Their parents had that gut-wrenching worry on February 14^th not knowing if their child was safe and now they make the sacrifice to have their child carry the flag and be in the forefront on such a violent and contentious issue in our country. I hope that through their strength there will be change. The young people are leading in remembrance of the 17 that lost their lives that day and for all of those lost to gun violence. They are the force to help this not happen again or to at least significantly lessen the frequency…. They are being their brother’s keeper.

 

My daughter Bridget participated in the March For Our Lives. She shared with me a poem that she wrote, which I too am sharing with you.

 

Until next time,

 

Barry

I wish I’d asked your name

Your bright green sign spoke to me

Like a personal hello, a handshake, a hug

A brief one on one connection

Amongst the sea of people

 

The image of the young black boy

The same boy, possibly a second

An infant in your embrace, marred

Like a photographer’s mastery of depth of field

 

Your face much younger

Your hair less grey

You’ve been marching a long time

 

For blocks

Stops and starts

Varying chants

Amongst the thousands

My youngest daughter recently celebrated a milestone birthday. Like most milestones, it was the impetus for quiet reflection in parallel with celebration.

 

In God’s biology, there are no single parent families. The obligatory shared responsibility is morally, ethically, and quantitatively a requirement of both parents. Family stresses should always incorporate the progeny in the reactive plan, which should be timed to be least impacting of the children. The urge to continue as a free unit decries God’s plan of procreation. The timing and effectuation of separation, or divorce plans should be cognizant of the needs of offspring. Well-being concerns beyond self is essential to the definition of parenting.

 

The offspring of a relationship should not suffer adversity, denial of love or care because of the immaturity of their parents, nor allowing personal disagreements to take primacy over the fundamental obligations to them. Children mimic the relationships they grew out of as they develop their own responsibilities.  Dominant life figures, both mother and father, are essential to developing the psychological models, who meet our standards for social esteem; like tango, it takes two. Sadly and too frequently, the family has evolved from a single parent, grandparent or other playing a dual role. How have offspring fared in this model? Tougher, more self-reliant, independent…

 

How pervasive is this model in today’s world? Not sufficient.  And I guess that I questioned, if this model was sufficient even when I was growing up. The popularity of the sacrament of marriage, as a facilitating force appears to have diminished in some ways and then has taken on a new form in other ways. In God’s biology there are no single parent families, but in God’s kingdom, there are extensions of the family.
In some cultures, this idea has been embraced.  There is the African Proverb, “that it takes a village to raise a child”.  We are developing new norms to our prior principle social outcomes, which allows or supports the fact that the definition of family is so varied.  With these ideas, let us live the principle that “We Are Our Brothers Keeper”.

 

Until next time,

 

Barry